P & P Onstage In Los Angeles

by RJ Silver on July 6, 2012

After a number of successful dinner theater shows in southern California, Fly By Night Productions is performing their stage adaptation of The Princess & the Penis at Archway Studio/Theater in Los Angeles this weekend. The announcement for tickets is below. Courtesy of Fly By Night Productions, I’ll also be posting pictures from the performance later in the week.

Archway Studio/Theatre

The Princess & The Penis

Fly By Night Productions
presents

Their hilarious staged adaptation to R.J. Silver’s adult version of the famous fairytale about a princess who can’t get to sleep due to the bulge she discovers in her bed.
You’ll split your sides with laughter throughout this highly comical performance!

8 p.m. Friday, July 6
8 p.m. Saturday, July 7
Tickets just $15

Reserve Here Now!

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{ 90 comments… read them below or add one }

Murray January 14, 2013 at 3:15 pm

The latest performance of Princess and the P(enis) went really well. Standing ovations to our naughty little fairy tale. It has been video taped and is now on it’s way and hopefully you’ll enjoy seeing your work brought to life.

Keep up the writing, man.

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Murray January 14, 2013 at 7:40 pm

As you wii see, RJ, when the Princess begins describing the attributes of the lump in her bed, the audience (especially the women) get hysterical. Must be a lot of women out there that are being “short changed”, so to speak. Also of note is the fact that the biggest laughers at our shows are the WOMEN. Many of the men just sit there straight faced. Must be the “penis envy” thingy……..Murray

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RJ Silver January 14, 2013 at 9:44 pm

Ha ha ha. Actually, that would be hillarious, if the women found it a hoot and the guys found it uncomfortable. Not intended, but hillarious nonetheless!

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RJ Silver January 14, 2013 at 9:39 pm

That’s great, Murray. Congrats on a job well done! I look forward to seeing it!

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Lordshrike January 14, 2013 at 5:33 am

RJ, we met on the bus to the Cambodian border shortly after New Years. I finally got my hands on a copy of P & P and read it last night. Very funny book. As I was reading it I started imagining it as a theatrical production. I imagined the funny lines, dripping with innuendo, being delivered by an elaborately costumed actor. Each time, momentarily breaking the third wall, with knowing ‘wink, wink, nudge, nudge’ glance to the audience.
I found the link to your blog at the end of the book and was pleasantly surprised to see that others shared my opinion and actually produced it.
I look forward to reading your other books.

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RJ Silver January 14, 2013 at 9:54 am

Thanks, Lordshrike. The guy I met was a bright hi-tech guy with a young son. I had no idea you were a lord, too! :) The fellow who produces the play in LA, Murray, is sending me a DVD of their latest performance (this past Sunday). I’m really looking forward to seeing it.

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bob January 10, 2013 at 2:29 am

That’s awesome man… someone turned it into a play!!!

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Devyl Gyrl July 20, 2012 at 3:25 am

Well, if we did, it would be what WE want to see, not what Jan wants to see … so maybe you should let us talk to Jan so we can better guide you.

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RJ Silver July 20, 2012 at 4:03 am

Hmmm…thanks for the offer, but the last thing I’d want is for two wisecracking ladies from the west to start coaching my beloved Asian flower. Why, with just a pinch of western savvy, she’d toss my butt out of here so quick, I wouldn’t be able get her back even with the new Grillmaster 9000.

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Devyl Gyrl July 20, 2012 at 5:23 am

There you go, being a wuss again!!

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RJ Silver July 20, 2012 at 5:49 am

No guy who has “To Hell and Back (and Forth)” tatooed on his privates can be called a wuss. Stupid, maybe. But definitely not a wuss.

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Devyl Gyrl July 21, 2012 at 2:36 am

Well … he just was. What’s he gonna do about it?

:p

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RJ Silver July 21, 2012 at 11:14 am

Oooh, a sassy girl. I’ll tell you what I”m going to do about it. I’m going to do absolutely nothing. That’s right. You heard me. Absolutely nothing! :)

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yoon July 19, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Don’t you think extra long, fat, juicy wiener should be added to the BBQ?

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RJ Silver July 19, 2012 at 10:20 pm

You are so right. What girl could resist a brand new BBQ that comes with an extra long, fat, juicy weiner? If she wants to read something into that, so be it. If she’s ultimately disappointed on the wedding night, at least I have plausible denial. You’re a genius, Yoon, an absolute genius!

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yoon July 19, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Er… yeah. OK. As if. I mean, lets be honest here. Why would she be disappointed come wedding night? Doesn’t she already know how yours compares to the one with the BBQ?

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RJ Silver July 19, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Not necessarily. Maybe I’m the kind of guy who wants to save myself for the wedding night. You’ve run into those kind of guys, haven’t you? :)

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yoon July 19, 2012 at 11:24 pm

A little too late to pretend to be that kind of guy, don’t you think? If that kind of guy exists, that is.

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RJ Silver July 19, 2012 at 11:35 pm

No, I can re-virginize, can’t I? Isn’t there some process to do that? Of course, I’d have to get the tatoo removed…

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yoon July 19, 2012 at 11:47 pm

You have a tattoo on your ding dong? Does it say “Welcome to Canada?”

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RJ Silver July 20, 2012 at 12:07 am

No, it says “To Hell and Back (and Forth)”.

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yoon July 20, 2012 at 12:59 am

Hehehe. I don’t care what any of your 783 exes say about you, you’re cool.

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Devyl Gyrl July 12, 2012 at 2:08 am

Look … I get not wanting to toot your horn and all that jazz … but REALLY? How are people supposed to buy tickets for other people and send them to the AWESOMENESS that MUST have been the Princess & the Penis on-stage production? I mean, you write this fantastic little piece of art that so many people LOVE and ADORE … and someone else turns it into a real-life THING that people can watch with their eyes and not just their mind’s eye, and you DO NOT GIVE US AMPLE WARNING??

Shame on you. Shame.

For that, you get hit with the frying pan over the head. Oh, and for deleting Twitter and FB. I mean, seriously – much more fun to harass you on Twitter than to come here and interrupt all these other folks’ comments!

Shame. Shame. Shame!

So disappointed in you … so very disappointed!

Oh, and yoonie wants me to hit you for her too. **thonk!!!**

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Sorina July 12, 2012 at 2:30 am

hahahahahaha!

oh, man! she’s really a devil girl. But you deserved it because you’ve closed the accounts. Seriously? FB AND Twitter? bad, bad boy! :))

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RJ Silver July 12, 2012 at 2:52 am

Not you, too. I’m just staying in my own little hole, minding my own business. If I was a gopher, you wouldn’t criticize me.

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RJ Silver July 12, 2012 at 2:50 am

I know, I know. Guilty on all charges. But I have a theory. Actually, I borrowed this theory from George Costanza. I’ve decided to do the opposite of everything I think I should do, and it’s working marvelously. For example, two days ago, I thought I should do the dishes before Jan got home from work yesterday, so I didn’t do them, and, voila, I ended up having beers and a burger at the pub. Last night, I absolutely refused to have make-up sex, which caused a second argument, meaning I got to have make-up sex twice.

So I think I should market…therefore I shall not!

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yoon July 12, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Obviously Devyl is lying. Lest you misunderstand, I never told her to hit you for me. I told her to “go whack him over the head.” There is difference. I think.

BTW, how did you get to have make-up sex twice if you refused the first time? Jan forced herself on you?

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RJ Silver July 12, 2012 at 12:36 pm

If it ends with me getting whacked over the head, it makes absolutely no difference to me.

No, she was angry at me twice, so when we made up, we had to do it twice (Thai rules). I could have consolidated them, but I bailed early and she said that didn’t count (we also disagreed on what to call it; I said it was “a quickie”, while she called it “a disappointment”).

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Devyl Gyrl July 15, 2012 at 5:39 am

Yeah, I’d call it a disappointment too.

Poor Jan, having to deal with you all the time. It must be exhausting. I think she deserves a spa day. Or a spa week, actually. You should provide that for her.

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RJ Silver July 15, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Well, when it’s a quickie, the last thing it is is exhausting. Frustrating, maybe. Aggravating. But definitely not exhausting. So no spa day for her!

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Devyl Gyrl July 15, 2012 at 5:40 am

No, yoon, it is NOT different. Whack is slang for hit. You’re not gonna pin this all on me, miss thang!

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Devyl Gyrl July 15, 2012 at 5:41 am

Terrible, terrible theory. TERRIBLE.

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RJ Silver July 15, 2012 at 8:03 pm

It worked for George.

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Devyl Gyrl July 15, 2012 at 8:27 pm

You, my friend, are no George.

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RJ Silver July 15, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Why can’t I be George? I’m in my forties. I’ve been banned from popular establishments (No beer for you!). And I’ve had the same Seinfeldian track record in relationships. Geez, I thought becoming George would be quite easy.

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yoon July 15, 2012 at 9:12 pm

So you’ve got dumped because of the size… I mean the shrinkage?

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RJ Silver July 15, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I didn’t say that I’d lived all the episodes, now, did I? Besides, it’s impossible to have shrinkage here in Thailand. At 38 degrees every day, I’ve got more than enough blood flowing to my extremities, thank you (and, oh, I never did the eat from garbage thing, either; actually, come to think of it, there are a lot of George things I haven’t done, so maybe Devy Gyrl is right. Maybe I should set sights on Kramer, instead).

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yoon July 15, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Can’t believe you thought you could be George. You are missing the essential Georgeness. Have you got caught sleeping under your desk at work? Have you lost potential client (or employer or business) for staring at his daughter’s cleavage too long? Now Kramer… I think you could definitely be Kramer if you try a little harder.

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RJ Silver July 15, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Actually, you’ve just given me an idea. I think I need to get the entire Seinfeld collection on DVD and watch them all again. I once did that with The Beverly Hillbillies. Watched 74 episodes in one long weekend. Now that’s Kramer like, isn’t it?

Murray July 15, 2012 at 10:03 pm

RJ….have we drifted far to the left (or right)? This blog started with P & P and has gone from Day Spas to George to Kramer. Are people having trouble staying focused? At leasted focused more than on your 38 degree, over extended phallus? Take care , my friend, and get back to writing mythical stories about maidens, vaginas and penises

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RJ Silver July 15, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Murray, it is impossible for us to drift too far to the left or right. This is a totally directionless site. Basically, the main premise of the site right now is that Yoon abuses me, and I do whatever I can to politely deflect. Tomorrow, who knows?

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yoon July 15, 2012 at 10:08 pm

*GASP* What do you mean I abuse you? I did NOT abuse you. Where did that come from? I can’t believe this. And I’ve been so nice. Hmph.

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RJ Silver July 15, 2012 at 10:27 pm

I meant traditionally. And please don’t stop. I love getting abused. In fact, I don’t know what I’d do with my day if it didn’t include at least some abuse.

yoon July 15, 2012 at 10:30 pm

You mean traditionally I abuse you? I don’t know about this. And dude? You need help.

Devyl Gyrl July 16, 2012 at 1:06 am

That’s right. You abuse him, yoon.

I was just an innocent bystander. :p

Ines July 8, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Oh, this is such great news! I hope they do extremely well and congratulations!! :D

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RJ Silver July 9, 2012 at 8:47 am

Well, as I say, I had nothing to do with it (the play, I mean). But I do hope they do well. I’d love nothing more than to see P & P prosper on stage and spread to other theater venues, if for no othe reason than the shock value of it! :)

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Murray July 9, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Shock Value??????? There is no “shock value” RJ. It’s an extremely funny book. If I were to describe it to others, I would call it “Tastefully Raunchy”. Keep writing good stuff like P & P. Hope this inspires you.

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RJ Silver July 9, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Thanks, Murray. Congrats on your recent show. For those of you don’t know, Murray is the head of Fly By Night Productions – the group producing the play.

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yoon July 9, 2012 at 8:38 pm

So um… Mr. Murray, when is the magical giant penis coming to Broadway? Maybe you could do a musical. Cause, you know, only thing better than magical giant penis is the magical giant dancing penis.

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RJ Silver July 9, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Ha ha ha. Yes, I agree completely, Yoon. I just hope Broadway never sees it coming! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk…

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Devyl Gyrl July 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Congrats on the show Murray … now if only you could bring it to stages near us!

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Murray July 17, 2012 at 9:38 am

Thank You Devyl….Where is “here”? Who knows, maybe it can make it there some day. If not us, then maybe someone else will be inspired to use the script and pay RJ and me tons of $$$$ for P & P

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SORINA July 7, 2012 at 3:48 am

And this is just the begining. CONGRATULATIOOOOOOOONNSSSS!!!!!!

that’s a great news! Keep up the good work and good luck with your new book! :)

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RJ Silver July 7, 2012 at 3:59 am

Thanks, Sorina, though, to be fair to folks in LA, I did absolutely nothing on this theater project except give my permission. I wish everything was like that…just say “yes” and let others do all the work…I’d get so much more done!

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heidenkind July 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

That’s exciting! I wish I could go.

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RJ Silver July 6, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Actually, it’s kind of humorous, too. Archway’s mostly a Shakespearean theater, from what I understand…leading to a rather amusing side-by-side of P & P with A Midsummer Night’s Dream on their front page: http://www.archwayla.com/index.html. Poor Shakespeare is probably turning in his grave.

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yoon July 7, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Poor Shakespeare is probably wishing he’d written P & P.

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yoon July 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Omigod! Today? How come you kept it secret until the last possible minute?
Congratulations! Are you rich and famous now?

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RJ Silver July 6, 2012 at 9:17 pm

I kept it a secret because I suck at marketing. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been so busy with my new book, I’ve pulled an ostrich on this website.

Fly By Night actually has a video of their first dinner theater shows, which apparently we’re wildly successful, but I was unable to download it successfully on the internet, so I’ll have to wait until I visit Canada to pick up the DVD. If these LA show goes well, maybe I can get another video of the play in full costume and post it on YouTube.

And, no, I’m not rich and famous yet, though I did have a female fan write to me the other day and ask if I bore any resemblance to Prince Longwood. If only that were true, at least I could get into film! :)

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yoon July 7, 2012 at 1:17 pm

What, they wouldn’t send you a DVD? Aren’t you entitled to some little perks like that as the author?

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RJ Silver July 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Actually, they offered to send me a DVD, but I had them send it to Canada, as getting my official mailing address here was a lot like solving the Da Vinci Code. Works great if you don’t want to be found.

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RJ Silver July 15, 2012 at 10:48 pm

That’s more like it! And of course I need help. I’m a wilderness fanatic who lives in downtown Bangkok, a guy’s guy who wrote a book about a princess and a penis, and despite the fact I’ve had two formal and five common-law relationships go down the tubes, I’m seriously considering getting married again. If that doesn’t scream “needs help”, I don’t know what more I can do!

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yoon July 15, 2012 at 10:55 pm

A wilderness fanatic? Explain please.

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RJ Silver July 15, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Hmmm, guess I never mentioned that. I grew up in a small, somewhat remote town where wolf packs still chased deer onto town streets during the night in my early school years, and where, even today, the town police are (regrettably) forced to shoot about 20 black bears a year on town streets. I practically lived out of a canoe in my teens. And until seven years ago, I spent every moment of vacation I had in the Canadian wilderness (including 2 years straight in 2000 and 2001). Then, one day, on a complete whim, I spun the globe, closed my eyes, and stuck my finger on a random spot, which happened to be this remote city in Southern China. So I got on a plane (or four), dropped in for a little visit, and I’ve been traveling and/or living in Asia ever since. But I still miss my cold, clear blue water mountain lakes, fresh trout, and the sound of wolves howling at night. Aroooohhhhh!

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yoon July 15, 2012 at 11:21 pm

And now you live in downtown Bangkok. You are such a complete weirdo. Excellent!

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RJ Silver July 15, 2012 at 11:29 pm

I know. The only wild creatures here…are the women. Aroooohhhhh! :)

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RJ Silver July 16, 2012 at 1:31 am

There. I have witnesses. Well, that and 197 of your posts as documented evidence. I feel a lawsuit coming on…

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yoon July 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm

197 comments? That’s all? I thought surely I must have left at least 500 by now… Oh was that the number of you ex-girlfriends, more or less?

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RJ Silver July 16, 2012 at 8:09 pm

I don’t actually know the number of girlfriends (though it is certainly nowhere near what you say). I only count the married or living together situations, mainly because I distinctly remember having to assemble 7 BBQs.

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yoon July 17, 2012 at 12:22 am

I think you forgot to count the ones with whom you lived in an apartment building, and then the ones who are vegetarians, and then pescetarians, and then the vegans, and then the ones who are on that weird diet of eating only raw food… etc. So the grand total of people who you lived with must be around a hundred.

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Devyl Gyrl July 17, 2012 at 3:12 am

The blue ones and green ones and purple ones and white … wait, what?

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RJ Silver July 17, 2012 at 4:39 am

Nope, the BBQ count is definitely accurate. I know because I only bought a BBQ with a woman a) if we cohabited, and b) if we boinked. In fact, for a while, it became part of my standard marriage proposal: “Marry me and win a new BBQ!”

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yoon July 17, 2012 at 8:45 pm

So 7 women fell for that, huh? So you have a BBQ now?

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RJ Silver July 17, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Sort of. It’s Thailand and we’re living in an apartment, so I didn’t really have to spring for the whole BBQ. Instead, I have a propane tank with a little burner on top of it. But Jan and I are planning to build/buy a home on the coast, so when I eventually pop the question, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to toss a BBQ in there somewhere.

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yoon July 17, 2012 at 9:14 pm

So why do you keep getting married again? Aren’t you supposed to be afraid of commitment to begin with, you being a guy’s guy and all? Now shouldn’t you be like allergic or something to “marriage?”

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RJ Silver July 17, 2012 at 9:44 pm

I told you already. I love abuse and other forms of pain. Getting married repeatedly is just my personal form of sado-masochism. Besides, I love women. I literally can’t live without them.

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yoon July 17, 2012 at 10:21 pm

I’m just amazed at how you can handle it all. Fourth marriage… I thought it only happened to rich and famous… Maybe it’s a sign. It’s like your destiny. You shall be rich and famous so on.

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RJ Silver July 17, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Hmmm, one can only hope. I think I you’re supposed to do that in the opposite order, however. First, you get get rich and famous. Then you go through a string of marriages/divorces. Better for the women, too. At least, then, they get more than used BBQs! The important thing is to maintain one’s sense of humor. Lots of beer helps, too!

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RJ Silver July 17, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Now, let’s not mess up my personal history. It will be #3, not #4 (formal marriages, that is). Besides, it’s not a done deal yet. I still have to find the right BBQ, then get down on one knee on the BBQ matt and offer her my spatula. And there’s always a chance she could decide to cook elsewhere.

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yoon July 17, 2012 at 10:47 pm

It’s usually the opposite order, but you’ve already completed the process 3 times and ready to embark on your 4th. It’s written in the stars. You’re gonna be big. You’re gonna be a star! You are so going to be a rock god. You can sing, or play guitar, yes?

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yoon July 17, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Oh. Sorry. You’ve only married twice? Well, there you have it. The reason you are not a rock god.

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Devyl Gyrl July 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I wonder, yoon, if the real reason is because he can’t really use the BBQ properly. I mean, really … who would divorce a funny, talented man who can BBQ with the best of them? There MUST be something wrong in the equation. We know he’s funny and talented – that’s why we keep fluffing his ego by posting comments (we want him to continue writing). But we can’t really test his BBQ skills. And he lives in Thailand. I think that’s so that he doesn’t HAVE to prove them. I mean, it’s the only part of the equation that we can’t testify to ourselves, so that must mean it’s the part in which he’s a failure. Maybe if he quit promising BBQ goodness, he’d hold onto a gal?

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yoon July 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Well, it COULD be his puny… er… you know.

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RJ Silver July 18, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Once again, you’ve nailed it, Devyl. If I could count the number of times people have ended up curled in the fetal position after I cook. As a result, every breakup goes the same way. “But what about all the good times we have, the great conversations, the hot sex (you know, if we count the porn we watch)?” I plead. “I don’t care,” my exes have all replied. “Once in a while, a girl needs a decent T-bone!”

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RJ Silver July 18, 2012 at 8:44 pm

So what you’re saying, yoon, is that whether its BBQing or sex, the problem is with the meat.

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Devyl Gyrl July 19, 2012 at 6:18 am

It could be … but he didn’t promise a huge penis in the proposal! :p

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yoon July 18, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Hahahahahahaha. You are a funny man. Yeah, the meat is the problem. I was referring to your candle, but meat sound much more interesting. hehehehehe

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Devyl Gyrl July 19, 2012 at 6:19 am
RJ Silver July 19, 2012 at 6:34 am

I’m learning so much here:

1. Do offer a fat, juicy sirloin to go with the BBQ.
2. Do not offer a huge penis for fear of disappointment.

Any other tweaks you girls want to make to my standard marriage proposal?

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